I am going to study in your city next month. It will be the first time I come to your country. I hope you could give me some advice about how to find a part-time job while I am studying.
I will have classes and other assignments in the week days. It would be nice if I could get a part-time job in the weekends or holidays.
The reason I want to fand a job is that there are not enough money I prepared for this study abroad. The tuition fee almost spent all of my money. So I have to do some works in my leisure time in order to cover my cost of living.
That would be great if you by chanced knew any shops or restaurants need new staffs. If not, I wish you could send me some job search websites, or recommend me some trusted job agencies in the local.
Feedback for the user- Liyejie
Feedback on the Answer:
Overall, the answer provides a decent response to the task. However, there are some areas that could be improved to make the letter more effective and engaging. Here are some suggestions for improvement:
- Introduction: While the letter starts with a friendly tone, it could benefit from a warmer greeting or personal connection with Stephen. For example, mentioning a shared interest or recalling a fond memory would create a stronger bond.
- Study Plans: The answer briefly mentions study plans, but it would be better to provide more specific details about the course or university the sender will be attending. This will make the letter more informative and enable Stephen to better understand the sender’s situation.
- Part-time Job: Instead of simply stating the need for a part-time job due to financial constraints, the sender could highlight their skills, interests, or previous work experience to make themselves more attractive to potential employers.
- Politeness: While the sender asks for Stephen’s help, it’s essential to use polite language throughout the letter, like “please” and “thank you.”
- Closing: The closing could be more personalized and appreciative, expressing gratitude for Stephen’s help and willingness to assist.
Now, let’s rewrite the letter with these improvements:
I hope this letter finds you well. It’s been too long since we last caught up, and I’m excited to share some news with you. In just a month, I’ll be starting my studies in your wonderful city. I can’t wait to experience the culture and meet new people, including you!
I’ll be pursuing a Bachelor’s degree in International Business at the University of ABC, which is known for its excellent faculty and diverse student community. The course will be challenging, but I’m determined to make the most of this incredible opportunity.
However, I could use your assistance. Due to the high tuition fees and living expenses, I find myself in need of a part-time job to support myself during my studies. I believe working during weekends and holidays would strike a perfect balance with my academic commitments.
As someone who’s familiar with the local scene, I thought you might know of any shops, restaurants, or businesses that are hiring part-time staff. If you can recommend any job search websites or trustworthy job agencies in the area, I’d greatly appreciate it.
Thank you so much for your kind help in advance, Stephen. I cherish our friendship and look forward to catching up once I arrive. If there’s anything I can assist you with in the future, please don’t hesitate to ask.
Best wishes,[Your Name]
By incorporating these changes, the letter now offers a more personal touch, clearer information about the sender’s plans, and a polite request for assistance. Remember to tailor your letters to specific tasks and make them as engaging and informative as possible. Good luck with your IELTS preparation!