Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time.Which one do you agree with? Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, some people think that leisure time needs to be used for activities that can improve the mind like reading or doing puzzle work. However, other people feel that free time should be used for rest and relaxation. I will discuss both views and give my opinion in this following graph.

A lot of people think in their free time, they must use it to do a number of activities like doing word puzzles, reading books or Sudoku, that can help him or her improve their mind intellect. For example; a child has a hobby that is playing Sudoku in his free time, which can help him develop his calculation ability. In a long time, he can become a good math learner.

Other people think leisure time should be used for rest and relaxation because relaxing moments will bring the effort and energy to continually studying or working and then achieving better results.

In my opinion, I agree with the statement that leisure time should be used for activities that can improve my mind because I believe if I learn passively like free time that will help absorb knowledge more effectively. Ex; in my free time, I usually listen to English music and in the long term, I realize I have learned English easier than in the past.

In the past, I think people should have used their freedom to follow the way they want them to feel is the best way to themselves because when they do what they like, it can bring them relaxation and fun moments to have effort and energy to continually work and study. 

Feedback for this IELTS essay (250 words) on leisure activities

Feedback on the Answer:

The essay provided in response to the IELTS question shows some good points, but there are areas that need improvement to achieve a Band 9 score. Here are some suggestions for enhancing the essay:

1. Structure: The essay lacks a clear and organized structure. A strong essay should have an introduction, body paragraphs that discuss each view in detail, and a conclusion summarizing the main points and giving a final opinion.
2. Support: The essay would benefit from providing more specific examples and evidence to support the views presented. Real-life examples or studies can strengthen the arguments.
3. Language and Cohesion: The language used in the essay is decent, but to achieve a Band 9 score, it should be more varied and precise. Additionally, cohesive devices like linking words and phrases can improve the flow of the essay.
4. Length: The essay seems to be quite short for an IELTS task. Aim to write at least 250 words to showcase your language skills and fully develop your ideas.
5. Grammar and Vocabulary: Ensure that the essay is free of grammatical errors, and use a wide range of vocabulary to demonstrate language proficiency.

Now, let’s provide a sample answer with these improvements:

Sample Answer:

Leisure time can be utilized in two contrasting ways: some argue it should be spent on activities that enhance the mind, such as reading and solving puzzles, while others believe it should be a period of mental relaxation. This essay will discuss both viewpoints before presenting a reasoned conclusion.

On one hand, proponents of mind-improving leisure activities argue that engaging in reading, puzzles, or intellectually stimulating games can enhance cognitive abilities. For instance, regular reading has been shown to improve vocabulary, comprehension, and critical thinking skills. Likewise, solving puzzles like Sudoku or crosswords can sharpen logic and problem-solving capabilities. By investing leisure time in such activities, individuals can reap long-term cognitive benefits.

On the other hand, advocates of mental rest during leisure time contend that relaxation is vital for overall well-being. Taking breaks from mentally taxing tasks can prevent burnout and mental fatigue, leading to increased productivity when engaged in studies or work. Restful activities, such as meditation or spending time in nature, allow the mind to unwind and recharge, promoting better focus and creativity when returning to intellectual pursuits.

In my view, a balanced approach is essential. Allocating some leisure time to activities that stimulate the mind can be valuable, as it fosters continuous learning and mental growth. However, relaxation and mental downtime are equally important to maintain overall mental and emotional well-being. Striking a harmony between both approaches ensures a healthy and productive lifestyle.

In conclusion, the debate between using leisure time for mind-improving activities and mental rest is multifaceted. While engaging in intellectually stimulating pursuits can foster cognitive development, relaxation is vital to prevent burnout and maintain mental wellness. A balanced mix of both approaches is the key to optimizing leisure time and achieving overall personal growth and fulfillment.

(Note: The above answer is approximately 290 words, which is within the recommended length for an IELTS essay.)