The reduction in biodiversity is a major issue faced by almost every country all around the world. The human related activities are on top of the list of reasons that drove this far. Consequently, it is estimated that around 50% of wildlife population have been declined over the last fifty years. Therefore, with this scale of devastation, government bodies as well as international institutions co-operated with the local individuals have to arrive at solutions to sustain the life in the woods.
Although, there are sophisticated legal bodies to restrict and criminalize the market for animal skin, tusks, bones and various other parts of wild animals, the question of how well it is maintained and monitored is the need of the hour. Local authorities must ensure that these laws are strictly followed as well as track the potential grounds before it could take place. However, the indigenous tribes living close to forests need to work closely with them in-order to achieve the objective.
Another widely debated reason for this reduction is global warming. The rise in average temperature of the earth would affect each and every living being on this planet predominantly, any living organism other than humans with advanced survival methods. The close working of United Nations and Worlds Wildlife Forum should be responsible for implementing measures to fight this cause. Companies and corporates should be enforced to take actions to reduce their carbon footprint well below the target, within the stipulated time period.
In conclusion, as an individual, people need to be aware of the consequences of wildlife degradation so that they could make the right choices which are less danger to the wildlife. Inform when encountered with an illegal activity, to the respected authorities which would be the least they could do. Moreover, international governing bodies have to ensure the smooth functioning of local authorities as well as implemented policies to fight the causes.
Feedback for this essay. Estimated to be at band 6.
Feedback on the Answer:
The essay provides a reasonable response to the IELTS question, addressing the concerns related to the decline in wildlife populations and offering some potential solutions. However, there are some areas for improvement:
- Introduction: The introduction is concise but lacks a clear thesis statement or roadmap of the essay. Consider explicitly stating the main points that will be discussed in the body paragraphs.
- Elaboration: While the essay mentions some reasons for the decline in wildlife populations, such as human-related activities and global warming, it would be more effective to provide specific examples or data to support these claims.
- Coherence: The flow of ideas is generally good, but the essay could benefit from the use of transition words and phrases to enhance coherence between paragraphs.
- Language and Vocabulary: There are a few grammar errors and awkward phrasings in the essay. Additionally, incorporating more varied and precise vocabulary can elevate the language level.
- Conclusion: The conclusion is quite brief and could be expanded to summarize the main points and reinforce the proposed solutions.
Estimated IELTS Band: I would estimate this essay to be around Band 6. While it covers the topic and presents some ideas, it lacks specific examples and may need more development in terms of language proficiency and organization.
Now, let’s make some improvements and provide an updated version of the essay:
The decline in global wildlife populations by approximately fifty percent over the past half-century has emerged as a pressing concern. Human activities and climate change are the primary drivers of this devastating trend. To safeguard wildlife around the world, coordinated efforts involving governments, international organizations, local communities, and individuals are essential.
One crucial step is the enforcement and monitoring of existing laws and regulations. Legal bodies must rigorously combat the illegal trade of animal parts like skins, tusks, and bones. Local authorities should be proactive in patrolling potential areas prone to wildlife trafficking. Collaboration with indigenous tribes living near forests can provide valuable insights and support in preserving natural habitats.
Addressing climate change is equally vital. The United Nations and World Wildlife Forum should lead the charge in implementing measures to mitigate global warming. Corporations must be held accountable for their carbon emissions, and they should be incentivized or mandated to reduce their environmental footprint.
Education plays a pivotal role. Individuals need to be aware of the consequences of wildlife degradation and make environmentally conscious choices. Reporting illegal activities to relevant authorities is a small yet significant action everyone can take to combat wildlife trafficking.
In conclusion, the protection of wildlife requires a multifaceted approach. Combating illegal trade, curbing global warming, and raising public awareness are crucial steps in preserving biodiversity. International cooperation and local engagement are pivotal in achieving this noble goal. By working together, we can reverse the decline in wildlife populations and create a sustainable future for all living beings on our planet.
Estimated IELTS Band: I would estimate this improved essay to be around Band 7. The essay now provides more developed ideas, a clearer structure, and improved language use, making it a stronger response to the IELTS question.