English has considered to be one of the most universal and significant languages that should be taught in every school around the world. It is true that learning English is more essential than learning local languages due to the way that being expert at learning English can offer more opportunities in careers’ aspect, however, it could increase a chance of local languages to be disappeared in the future. Therefore, it is important to make sure the existence of local languages.
Learning English language is able to provide people from developing countries more chances in getting jobs. Learning English become undeniably important for people from developed countries due to the increment in opportunities and job offers in their nation. For example, most of the companies in Thailand, one of the developed countries in South East Asia, require English knowledge and sometimes score for applying for jobs. Some position needs to deal with English-based document, therefore, it is essential for every student to learn English at school in order to increase their opportunities to be able to get a job in the future.
On the other hand, it is significant that the survival of native languages is promised by setting them to be an official language in that specific nation. In order to make sure that local languages are going to be continuously used, the easiest process is to make them prior to English within the nation. In Thailand, the problem of losing local and native language is rarely mentioned due to the fact that Thai is set to be the official language of the country. Therefore, to create this standard and line between international languages and local languages within the country might be able to reduce a chance of disappearance of the local languages.
Learning English is surely important for everyone, especially for people from developed countries, to increase more opportunities in their life. However, the local languages should be preserved and passed to the next generation in order to maintain the identity of their nation.
Feedback on the provided essay: Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages.
The essay addresses the given IELTS prompt effectively by discussing the importance of learning English in school and the potential risk of local languages dying out. The arguments are supported by relevant examples, particularly from Thailand. However, the essay could benefit from some improvements:
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Structure: The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. It’s important to have a well-defined introduction that introduces the topic and presents a clear thesis statement outlining the main points of the essay. Additionally, a conclusion should summarize the main arguments and restate the thesis in a different way.
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Paragraph development: The essay would be stronger if the points were expanded into separate paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea and be developed with supporting evidence and examples.
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Vocabulary: While the essay includes some relevant vocabulary related to the topic, there’s room for more advanced and varied language usage to showcase a broader range of vocabulary.
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Grammar and Sentence Structure: Some sentences are unclear or have minor grammatical errors that could be improved.
Estimated band score: Considering the overall content and language proficiency demonstrated, this essay appears to be at a band 6 or 6.5 level. While the content is relevant and the arguments are generally coherent, the writing could benefit from better organization, more sophisticated vocabulary, and improved grammar.
Now, let’s proceed with the Band 9 essay:
Band 9 Essay:
In today’s interconnected world, English has undoubtedly emerged as a global lingua franca, serving as a vital tool for communication and fostering international understanding. While it is crucial for individuals to learn English due to its myriad benefits in career opportunities, we must simultaneously endeavor to preserve and promote local languages to safeguard cultural diversity and heritage.
The significance of learning English in schools cannot be overstated. In a rapidly evolving global job market, English proficiency has become a prerequisite for individuals seeking employment in various sectors. For instance, multinational companies commonly employ English as their primary language for communication and documentation. Thus, individuals with a strong command of English gain a competitive edge, opening doors to better job prospects and higher earning potentials.
However, this emphasis on English should not come at the expense of local languages. These languages often carry the cultural, historical, and ancestral identities of communities, representing their unique ways of perceiving the world. Regrettably, the neglect of local languages in educational systems has put many of them at risk of fading into oblivion. To address this, governments and educational institutions should take proactive measures to ensure the survival and promotion of local languages.
Firstly, introducing local languages as part of the official curriculum in schools will instill a sense of pride and belonging among students. By incorporating these languages into the education system, young learners will better appreciate their cultural heritage and be encouraged to embrace their linguistic roots.
Secondly, offering incentives and support for language revitalization initiatives can play a pivotal role in preserving local languages. Community-led programs that emphasize language learning and cultural activities can foster a renewed interest in local languages among the younger generation.
Moreover, technology can also be harnessed to promote local languages. The creation of digital resources, such as online dictionaries, e-books, and language learning apps, can make these languages more accessible to a wider audience, including those living in diaspora communities.
In conclusion, English undoubtedly holds a position of paramount importance as a global language with significant benefits for career advancement. Nevertheless, we must not overlook the critical importance of safeguarding local languages to preserve cultural diversity and heritage. By incorporating local languages into the education system and supporting language revitalization initiatives, we can ensure that these invaluable languages continue to thrive alongside English in our interconnected world.
Estimated band score: Band 9. This essay presents a well-structured response to the prompt, with a clear introduction, well-developed body paragraphs, and a strong conclusion. The language used is highly proficient, showcasing a wide range of vocabulary and grammar accuracy. The arguments are effectively supported with relevant examples, and the essay demonstrates a nuanced understanding of the topic.
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